a new year

It's amazing how much can happen in just one year. Sometimes it's hard to believe it was even just one year not many. Exactly one year ago I had just started my new part-time job as a program educator a the New England Aquarium in Boston. It turned out to be a fine job although it neither paid very well nor had great hours. I also found myself becoming the resident vagrant at Jeff, Melissa, Quinn, and Andrea's homes (thanks guys, seriously, thank you) due to commuting issues. I guess you could say that my life was changed in 2008 when I won the scholarship that is now the basis of this blog. I would be lying if I said it hadn't.

Will this scholarship year change me? Has it changed me already? What more will I learn?
When we think about 'life changing' events it's hard to recognize what has really changed the person's life. Is it the actual event, the experience or how they react to it? How does it react to them? Or can none of this be separated individually?

When I was applying for this scholarship I was talking to one of my recommenders and dive buddies at Friday Harbor Labs. She told me that even if I didn't get the scholarship I could still do the things that it promised. I didn't believe her then and I didn't believe her at the start of the year and but I'm starting to believe her now. This is about me, mind you - I don't think I had the guts nor the confidence to take the risks and leaps that would have been required of me to do this completely on my own. So, in a way, the scholarship is a cop-out. I was given the tools to do all these experiences and 'life changing' events. I didn't actively get them myself. Okay, I'm being too self-judgmental. Let's take a step back. I just spoke to a friend online and he eloquently said "Life is a journey that only you can define if you want to get the most out of it." ( you know who you are and you live in a van down by the river, no?) What have I gained from the scholarship? Well, haven rode a camel is a good enough answer, no? Probably not. I have gained the confidence to define my life. I'm not sure I could have said that a year ago.

Happy New Year